Pets Are Awesome

Here's an action I endorse for all twenty-somethings everywhere: getting a pet.

If you're in your twenties and you don't have a pet, I HIGHLY recommend getting one. They can be therapeutic, make good company, and frequently provide a conversation topic for visitors.

I always had pets growing up, but Charlotte Brontë, the first cat I ever owned myself, came to me because of a therapist's recommendation. I have OCD, and my therapist suggested that many patients find animals to be calming influences in their lives. Cats are good for OCD sufferers, because they're cleaner than dogs and have a better sense of time. So I took Charlotte Brontë from her place as runt-of-the-litter in my then-boyfriend's garage, and made her my own.

Caring for pets has been linked in an Australian study to better physical and mental health: subjects with pets often had fewer visits to a doctor, more physical activity, and less loneliness. As twenty-somethings are often without health insurance coverage (since many college grads fail to find jobs with benefits straight out of college), this can be especially important. And as twenty-somethings experience increased levels of mental health issues, pets can help us with the emotional problems associated with this period in life.

A few things to keep in mind:

1. Even if you don't live alone, getting a pet can be a great experience. As long as your roommates/boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/parents don't/doesn't have any objections, getting a pet can actually make you closer. Who doesn't bond over playing with a cuddly kitten? If someone objects to the idea of a pet, you can always volunteer at an animal shelter— then, you can experience the joy of playing with and caring for animals without bringing them into your home!

2. Living in an apartment doesn't automatically mean that no pets are allowed. Some complexes allow small pets (hamsters, gerbils, mice, etc.) and some allow pets that don't have to be let outside, like cats. Some even permit small dogs! In some apartment buildings, you have to pay a pet deposit if you want to bring in an animal; in my place, we paid $250 for a cat. Other places require a monthly fee, usually an extra $15 or $20 per month. Just call your apartment's office and ask!

And y'know, while I don't publically endorse lying to your supervisor or doing anything against the rules, I'm going to merely observe that oftentimes no one will notice if you have a small pet in your apartment. Cats are particularly good for hiding, as their accessories (litter boxes, food) can be placed in discrete areas, and because cats tend to hide when strangers (like maintenance workers) enter the place.

Just sayin'— I kept Charlotte Brontë at Vassar for about two months, and no one ever called me on it, even though it was decidedly against the rules. Guys from maintenance even saw her there, and they just winked at me and "forgot" to tell the administration.

3. If you're allergic to cat and dog dander, you can still have one— just like the Obamas! While "hypoallergenic" cats and dogs don't technically exist (as there will always be a slight risk of allergic reaction with any amount of cat or dog fur), there are some cats and dogs that are far less likely to trip your allergies than others. And there are things you can do— bathe your pet regularly, vacuum your house frequently, keep clothes and sheets washed and cleaned— that can reduce allergy risks.

I myself am slightly allergic to cats, but it doesn't bother me. For one thing, being around a cat for a while has dampened that allergic reaction for me, so that I don't even notice it anymore. For another, I take antihistamines regularly anyways, since I'm also allergic to, like, the entire world, so that helps keep me from sneezing. I'm a little sniffly in the morning sometimes, but it's well worth it.

If you just can't keep a cat or a dog, or you'd like something a little more low-maintenance, there are plenty of fun pets you can still have! My sister has a bunny named Dwight; he lives in a cage and eats food and doesn't need more that your occasional cage cleaning, but he's also fun to play with when you take him out for a while. I had a lovely dwarf hamster named Ampersand for a few months (and Claire had the tiny and wonderful Dash) and he was very sweet and friendly, and loved to come out and play. Turtles and lizards make fun pets, as do birds, mice, rats, and, I am told, ferrets.

Don't underestimate fish, either. There's a reason little kids get so attached to their goldfish. Fish are cool to watch, very low maintenance, and act as living art! Watching them swim can be very relaxing, and having them follow your finger along the glass of the tank can entertain even a weary adult!

Pets, like children, aren't for everyone— but if you haven't given a thought to keeping a pet, why not at least consider it?

EDIT: Oh, and also: photo credit goes to Claire, who took this picture of Charlotte Brontë living illegally in our TA (Town Apartment, for those of you not familiar with Vassar lingo) and captioned it por moi. I forgot to credit it the first time around. Sorry, Claire.

Happy Days

Good news...

Adam's been called back to work!

He doesn't go back until the 4th of January, and he's got to take a pay cut, as they've demoted all the laid-off mill operators to packers. But the end is kind of in sight! No more dealing with the silly unemployment people, who make things up and mess with your paperwork and your brain! No more food stamps dancing in our heads as we sleep at night!

And and and— I got a day of work today, as a receptionist at Strollo Architects in Y-town. I didn't even know we HAD office buildings, but it appears we do, and they're actually pretty nice. And I got a free Christmas ornament and a bottle of Seagram's VO Whiskey for Adam! The senior partners all got these awesome bottles of Seagram's from some other nice company, and one of the guys didn't want his, so he gave it to the lady who was training me, and she said I could have it! Adam was very happy with his unexpected gift.

So things are looking...well, a little better. Maybe.

Selling Your Body...But Not Like That

With the economy in turmoil and more and more people finding themselves jobless, some folks have resorted to extreme measures: signing over their bodies to medical experiments and selling their plasma and reproductive cells.

Egg donation is something I've considered before, and now seems like it would be a great time to do it. I could get $10,000-15,000 for my eggs, especially considering I've got a high IQ, I'm a college graduate, I come from an academic family with no major history of cancer, and I can sing, play multiple musical instruments, and write fairly well. The OCD thing might be a turn-off, but if I can establish it as not being entirely genetic somehow, I think I'd be okay.

And I wouldn't have a problem with a dozen little genetically-related chillens running around out there. As far as I'm concerned, I'd have nothing to do with any of those kids; if I didn't raise a baby, then I'm not its mother. No worries about that, although my mom says it would bother her to think that she had "grandchildren" out there somewhere.

What would bother ME is this:

Stimulating egg production: In a normal menstrual cycle, one egg matures and, at ovulation, is released from an egg-containing sac (called a follicle) on the ovary. In egg donation, the goal is to obtain several mature eggs. You will be prescribed medication to stimulate your ovaries to mature more eggs than normal (called "controlled hyperstimulation"). The medications are similar to the hormones that your body produces, but at much higher doses. These medications must be injected (either under your skin or into a muscle). Treatment will start on a specific day of your cycle and continue for about ten days. You will be shown how to inject the medications. If you are unable to inject yourself reliably, you will need someone else to do it for you.

The risks: You may develop soreness, redness or mild bruising around the injection site. You may experience mood swings, tender breasts, enlarged ovaries and mild fluid retention. Occasionally, the medications cause more hyperstimulation than intended (known as "ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome," or OHSS). This will cause fluid retention and swelling of the ovaries. In mild OHSS, you may have abdominal pain, pressure and swelling. This should go away after your next period. In moderate OHSS, you may require careful monitoring, bed rest and pain medication. Severe OHSS is rare but can cause serious medical complications, including blood clots, kidney failure, fluid build-up in the lungs, and shock. In rare cases, hospitalization is necessary and the condition can be life-threatening. One or both of your ovaries may have to be removed. The risk of OHSS decreases after the eggs are retrieved.

If you show signs of OHSS before the eggs are ready to be retrieved, the doctor may decide that it is too risky for you to keep taking the hormones. You must stop using the medication and the cycle will be canceled.

If you decide, for some reason, not to undergo egg retrieval after having completed fertility drugs, you increase your risk of OHSS. Very rarely, an enlarged ovary will twist on its stalk and cut off its blood supply. This painful condition requires immediate surgery and the ovary may have to be removed. Also, very rarely, a woman has an allergic reaction to fertility drugs.

You can become pregnant during the cycle, if you have unprotected intercourse. This could occur if some of the eggs are released before retrieval, or if the doctor is unable to retrieve all of the mature eggs. There is a chance that you could become pregnant with twins, triplets or quadruplets. You must abstain from intercourse or use effective barrier contraception. Ask the doctor about restrictions on intercourse during the donation cycle.

The long-term risks of fertility drugs are unknown. A few studies suggest that fertility drugs might increase a woman's risk for developing ovarian cancer later in life. Others do not show this link. At this time, no one knows for sure.

So...ew. We'll see. Maybe I'll just start with plasma and then work my way up?

Whining

Sometimes I just want to give up.

Adam got hired back on the 4th. Then they cut the night shift, so they put him on days. So now he's probably going to have to quit on the 12th, since that's when classes start, and he can't be working the 7am-7pm shift when he has to go to class 5 days per week. Dammit.

And neither of us will ever get a decent job in this stupid town. It's like a repository for the hopeless and the emotionally dead. Youngstown is usually pretty depressing in the summer, but in the winter it's about eighteen thousand times worse.

And what's even more frustrating is that a lot of the people who seem to be complaining about finances these days are people who were frivolous with money to begin with. So many people I know have massive car payments or huge amounts of credit card debt or just never bothered to keep any savings handy. And Adam and I did everything RIGHT: we don't use credit, we haven't ever bought a car, and we had plenty of savings until he lost his job.

We're frugal. We work hard. We're intelligent and resourceful and good at things. WE'RE NICE PEOPLE. I have been taught by the American public school system to believe that in this country, those things produce, if not outright success, then at least a life that isn't constantly spent in a state of near panic. And yet here we are.

Part of me is starting to understand how Communism got to be such a big deal. It's so ridiculous that Adam and I are trying so hard for so little, and yet Paris Hilton, who has never done an honest day's work in her LIFE, is relaxing in a friggin' mansion somewhere sipping a fruity drink from a colorful straw. And I don't even want a mansion— I just want to pay my bills and put food on the table, for goodness sakes.

I apologize for whining like this; I can't imagine anyone is particularly riveted by the trials and tribulations of one Midwestern married woman. But I had to get this off my chest, and now I feel better for having done so. Thanks.

A Possibly Finished Poem

Here's something I've been playing with for awhile now. I can't quite decide if it's done or not.

The Annunciation
 
The angel went to her and said, "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you." Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. (Luke 1: 28-29)
 
The night was wide and black and filled with stars.
I had just finished my prayers when it came
through my window like unexpected day—
a six-winged creature with hot liquid eyes
that burned like a salamander’s birth.
Its voice was a hundred thousand thunders,
and when it drew breath, the room contracted.

Terrified, I heard little that it said
until it mentioned God, for then I knew
things would soon be bad. When God sends servants
like that, he’s not asking for a favor;
he’s weaving the threads of the world tightly
around you, and you can only stay still.

And after it left a trail of glamour
in its wake, the darkness closed around me,
and never left.

GRE, Revisited

I thought my interaction with the GRE was over after I took it my senior year of college. As it stands, however, Adam is signed up to take it in February. Oh, the GRE: 140 dollars and 4 hours of pointless misery.

When I took it, I had an awesome GRE program my parents bought for me. A year and negative one job later, we can't afford an Amazing Super Secret Platinum GRE Study Guide.

So my question is: do any of you happen to know of an awesome free GRE study guide or website? What tips do you have for Adam on taking the GRE?

Miss Manners Is My Hero

Many of you know I'm a huge fan of Judith Martin (aka Miss Manners), particularly when it comes to wedding etiquette. Her snarky wit and sensible approach to money and relationships never fails to elicit an "mm-hmm, preach it!" from me.

This recent column from Miss Manners is as close to perfect advice as you can get. She discusses why it's wrong to live beyond your means by making other people pay for things for you.

Read the column, and absorb the info carefully, my friends. Etiquette exists to prevent uncomfortable situations and rudeness, not to tell other people how to spend their money.

What They Don't Tell You About Marriage

I actually really enjoyed this article from Yahoo, entitled "Seven Things No One Tells You About Marriage." It has some really good advice about marriage, and it doesn't ever seem to stumble into the realm of the sappy.

My favorite part of the article is point 2, where the author explains that marriage really is hard work, but not in the way most people imagine. A lot of engaged couples assume that the "work" people talk about in a long-term live-in relationship has to do with adjusting to the other person's annoying habits, like forgetting to run the dishwasher or leaving wet towels on the floor. And to an extent that happens, but that's not really the hardest part of being married. The tough part is learning who you both are deep down and adapting as you each move through different stages and experience major changes in your lives.

It's annoying when Adam forgets to put the toilet seat down, but that doesn't really bother me on a day-to-day basis. The real challenge is dealing with our different reactions to things: sometimes he'll make a joke about something I do or say, knowing that he would find it funny if I made the same joke about him, but I end up feeling hurt instead of laughing. Sometimes, because of my abnormally strong emotional reactions, I'll respond violently to a situation that Adam doesn't think is that big a deal, and he'll be upset and disturbed by my sudden tears/screaming fits/whoops of joy. We already know that we love the other person, warts and all; if I had to choose a certain number of flaws for my husband to possess, I'd choose the same flaws Adam has, no question. But because we're different people, sometimes things get lost in translation, and we have to stop and think very hard about what the other person must be feeling. And that's difficult, no matter how much you love someone, because it's hard to see things from an external perspective (although it's interesting to do once you get the hang of it!).

Unlike most relationship articles, this piece isn't pure drivel, and I think it could actually be fairly helpful to people looking to begin a live-in or serious relationship of any type.

A New Year, A New Post

Happy New Year! Yay for 2009!

My New Year's Eve was GREAT! Adam and I had stumbled upon free tickets to First Night Youngstown— my mom got them for free as part of some local grocery coupon thing, and she gave them to us. First Night is a series of family-oriented New Year's celebrations across the country, and Youngstown hosts one every year, despite the fact that Youngstown, as the ninth most dangerous city in the US, is not really a place you'd want to be wandering around in the dark when you're drunk.

But it was great anyways. There was ice skating at the Chevy Centre*** and a freak show at the Oakland (a guy put a nail in his head! And there were three-headed chickens!) and a pretty good band at a local art building (the band was The Zou, which I expected to dislike and ended up really enjoying).

And then we went to my parents' New Year's Eve party, and I ate more piroshki than I should have. Mmmmmm, Slovak food.

How did you celebrate?

*** For my linguist friends: why do you think Youngstown's convention center spells its name "Centre"? This is the Midwest, and we don't exactly have a large British or Irish immigrant community. Why would anyone other than myself spell "centre" like that in Ohio?

Banished To The Realm Of the Cliche

It's my favorite time of year! That's right: Lake Superior State University has just released its annual List of Words to Be Banished from the Queen's English for Mis-use, Over-use and General Uselessness!

On this year's list are "green" ("Companies are less 'green' than ever, advertising the fact they are 'green.' Is anyone buying this nonsense?" -Mark Etchason, Denver, CO), "maverick" ("You know it's time to banish this word when even the Maverick family, who descended from the rancher who inspired the term, says it's being mis-used." -Scott Urbanowski, Kentwood, MI), and "bailout" ("Use of emergency funds to remove toxic assets from banks' balance sheets is not a bailout. When your cousin calls you from jail in the middle of the night, he wants a bailout." -Ben Green, State College, PA).

Interestingly, the list included, for the first time ever, an emoticon: that perennial favorite of Facebook users everywhere, the <3, which is supposed to resemble a heart. "Just say the word instead of making me turn my head sideways and wondering what 'less than three' means," said Andrea Estrada of Chicago.

You can view the full list of banished words and phrases here.

And if LSSU gets to make a list, why don't I? Here's my compilation of a few more words and phrases that need to go:

Change: Okay, when a progressive candidate says it, it makes sense. But when a conservative candidate like, oh, I dunno, every single Republican who ran for president this past cycle, it makes less sense. The whole platform of the conservative movement is ANTI-change, and PRO-tradition. If you're for "change" and you're a Republican, you're in the wrong party.

[Name] the [Profession] (as in "Joe the Plumber"): Um, how is stating your profession somehow a vindication of your earnest folksiness? If I called myself "Philosophy the Writer," would people give a damn? McCain supporters flouted signs declaring their names and professions ("I'm Sam the Steelworker!") at rallies, and it made less sense than McCain's crazy campaign suspension in the midst of the financial crisis...especially since Joe the Plumber wasn't actually named Joe OR actually a plumber.

Vaycay (short for vacation): If one more person insists on abbreviating a word that isn't long or cumbersome in the first place, I might kill myself. If you can't take the time out to say or write the full word, you have more problems than your supposed shortage of time.

Historic (when used to describe the present day): I know I've been guilty of this one myself, but so many commentators and newscasters have used this word to describe certain events this year (the Democratic primary, the election of president-elect Obama, the recession, the Iraq War) that it's been getting a little ridiculous. Pardon me, but I thought things became truly "historical" when remembered from the FUTURE. We can't really know what events will be considered monumental unless we're looking back from the comfortable position of hindsight.

Joe Sixpack: NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER USE THIS TERM AGAIN. Somehow, Sarah Palin is under the impression that stereotyping working class people as drunken men with bland names is a flattering compliment. The working class people I know? Not so flattered.

What words would you add to the lists?

Christian Tolerance

I found this article quite heartening-- despite a recent rise in Christian fundamentalism in the US, between 65 and 70 percent of Americans today believe that religions other than their own could lead to heaven and eternal life.

In July, the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life put out a study that said that 70% of adults in the US felt this way; evangelical leaders insisted that the study was a fluke, so in August the Pew did the study all over again, this time with more pointed questions that would be sure to clear up any confusion the original questions caused. This time, 65% said that belief in their religion was not necessary for eternal life.

The above article lists several explanations for this cheerful outcome. One way to explain the results is to assume that most Americans just want good things to happen to good people:

"As Alan Segal, a professor of religion at Barnard College told me: 'We are a multicultural society, and people expect this American life to continue the same way in heaven.' He explained that in our society, we meet so many good people of different faiths that it’s hard for us to imagine God letting them go to hell. In fact, in the most recent survey, Pew asked people what they thought determined whether a person would achieve eternal life. Nearly as many Christians said you could achieve eternal life by just being a good person as said that you had to believe in Jesus."

The second explanation is that many Christians (like me!) just don't view their religion as inflexible and absolute:

"According to Pew’s August survey, only 39 percent of Christians believe that the Bible is the literal word of God, and 18 percent think that it’s just a book written by men and not the word of God at all. In fact, on the question in the Pew survey about what it would take to achieve eternal life, only 1 percent of Christians said living life in accordance with the Bible."

This makes me very pleased, indeed. I'm tired of hearing from other people that all Christians are outdated, pushy, Bible-thumping, mean-spirited jerks. Some of us aren't crazy, you know. A large percentage of us don't care to impose our religious views on other people who don't share our faith!

So the next time you meet a Christian, don't just assume that he or she is a hate-spewing bigot who despises gay people and thinks that evolution is a Communist conspiracy. Take some time to ask them what they believe and why they believe it. The answers just might surprise you!

Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas to all...

...and to all, a good night.

Especially tiny kitties.

Philosophy: By The Numbers

GPA: 3.6
IQ: 159
Height: 5'2''
Weight: 98 lbs.
Favorite numbers: anything even (but especially 10 and 20)
Languages spoken: 2
School systems attended (from Kindergarten to college): 4
Cats: 5 (4 in permanant residence at my parents' home, one temporarily crashing at their place until I become truly employed)
Foreign countries visited: 5
Jobs applied for: 0
Grad schools applied to: 2
Grad schools accepted at: 1
Grad schools attended: 0
Chance of life failure: 67.2%

Political Smokescreens

I was all set to get mad about Obama asking Rick Warren, that bigot who seems to think that pews and choirs are somehow antithetical to the idea of worship, to give the invocation at his inauguration. Not only does it send a bad message to the gay community (as Warren was in favor of Prop 8)— it's also just TACKY. The man is a marketing guru, for goodness sakes, not a real man of God. I'm MARRIED to a REAL ministry man, so I know the difference. I've always disliked Warren, for the silly way he interprets Scripture and for the level of stupidity he attributes to your average modern churchgoer.

This is my favorite part of this article on Warren:

During a session titled "Dealing with Opposition," Mr. Clyde [who works closely with Warren's church] recommended that the pastor speak to critical members, then help them leave if they don't stop objecting. Then when those congregants join a new church, Mr. Clyde instructed, pastors should call their new minister and suggest that the congregants be barred from any leadership role.

"There are moments when you've got to play hardball," said the Rev. Dan Southerland, Church Transitions' president, in an interview. "You cannot transition a church ... and placate every whiny Christian along the way."

Yeah— THAT'S real Christian.

So I was mad, because I've always felt that this guy is a jerk. But then I read this article about how Obama is considering appointing an openly gay man as the Navy Secretary. And then I began to think that this Rick Warren thing is a smokescreen, yo. Give the evangelicals someone they recognize up front, and maybe they won't complain so loudly when you pointedly indicate a re-evaluation of Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

And then I felt better about the whole thing. I'm willing to give cosmetic concessions to make other people happy if it gets me some substantive policy changes in terms of gay rights.

So I'm okay with picking Rick Warren, for now. If it makes evangelicals happy without compromising my fight to win equal rights for my sister, then let's do it.

I just hope we really do see some movement on that horizon. Soon.

A Thank-You Post

So A New Philosophy now has more than 13,000 hits!

I just wanted to say: thanks so much to everyone who has supported me during these tough times. Every time you read my blog, you're helping to keep my husband and I fed and clothed. With both of us unemployed, it's difficult to make ends meet, and my income from this blog really helps out.

Your attentions to this blog have purchased Christmas presents for my family this year. They've even paid next month's rent. Without each and every one of you, Adam and I would be a LOT more screwed than we already are.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

<3