Archbishop of Blah

My husband has been invited to attend a lecture by the Archbishop of Canterbury on Tuesday. (It's pretty cool-- he had to get security clearance from the UN and everything!) This makes me annoyed, because if I didn't have to go to work, I could accompany him. And then I could tell the Archbishop what I think of him to his face.

See, I have a pretty conflicted view of the dear Archbishop. On the one hand, he has made several wonderful statements on the need to teach evolution in schools, on the irrationality of the Iraq war (and the need for pacifism all over the world), and the incompatibility of purely free-market politics with the Christian ideal. He's fairly liberal as theologians go-- maybe not for the Episcopal Church, but overall, at least. And he has sometimes been criticized for being too "easy" on us Episcopalians when we do things like ordain gay people, which I guess is nice.

But some of his recent statements have perturbed me. Last month, the diocese of L.A. elected a woman as one of their bishops. This woman happened to be a lesbian, although I hardly think her sexual identity is relevant to the discussion of her candidacy for the position. However, the Archbishop seemed to think it was relevant, as he released a statement criticizing this move. However, it did not occur to him to release a statement condemning the bill in Uganda, made public that very same week, which would make homosexuality punishable by death. Nor did he think to condemn the various conservative Anglican churches in Africa that have refused to speak out against the bill.

I am also irritated that the Archbishop feels he has any authority over us whatsoever. I hate to break this to him, but he is the Primate of the Church of ENGLAND. He may be the symbolic head of the worldwide Communion, but he certainly is not the de facto leader of the Episcopal Church. We have our own Primate-- the Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church-- and her name is Katherine Schori. The Archbishop doesn't get to whine to us if he doesn't like what we're doing, because guess what? THIS IS NOT HIS CHURCH. What we do here has no bearing on what he does over there. Just because we ordain gay people doesn't mean any other Anglican church must. That's what's so great about the Anglican Communion-- we can all be friends while maintaining separate theological positions on different ideas.

Rowan Williams seems like a pretty smart guy, and I'd like to tell him how I feel, because I think he would genuinely want to hear me out. But I can't tell him, because I have to work!

Sigh.

Man, I can't wait to go back to school. It'll be so fun to get to talk and write about religion every day! :D

Dear World: Cookies Are Just Fine

Okay, Western society: we need to sit down and have a serious talk about your perceptions of healthy eating.

Call me crazy, but you're sending an awful lot of mixed messages, and many of those messages are being sent to kids. Take, for example, the way you talk about kids and vegetables. "Let's teach our kids healthy eating habits!" we chant enthusiastically. And then I find a print advertisement for Ragu pasta sauce on the back of my Time magazine featuring a young man and his trusty dog; the boy is eating pasta happily, and the dog is clearly pining for some of the meal. The print below says, "Veggies your kid won't want to share. Even with his best friend." Then this proclamation is subtitled thus: "With all-natural Ragu (r), your kids get more than a full serving of veggies tucked into a sauce they'll actually love to eat. What a surprise."

The message here seems to be, "Teach your kids healthy eating habits by pretending as though vegetables are nasty, horrible medicinal doses that have to be hidden in more delicious foods that 'they'll actually love to eat.'" Way to go!

Or take the way we talk to kids about cookies. COOKIES, PEOPLE. When I was little, I liked cookies, and I ate cookies. Hell, I STILL like cookies, and I STILL eat cookies. I made a yummy batch of peanut butter blossoms yesterday. And guess what? I'm pretty physically healthy. Because guess what? Eating sugar will NOT DAMN YOU TO HELL.

In 2007, Cookie Monster, appearing on Martha Stewart's TV show, declared that cookies are a "sometimes food." Well, okay. The "C is for Cookie" song was one of my favorites when I was little, and it didn't turn me into a relentless cookie junkie shooting chocolate chips into my veins with a needle, but whatever, I guess he's right. Cookies are not for breakfast or lunch or dinner (although on special occasions they can be— I'm reminded of the times, one every few years or so, when my mom would let my sisters and I have M&Ms for dinner, and we'd eat so many that we wouldn't want any candy again for weeks at a time). Cookies are for dessert, not for every meal. I guess you're okay, Mr. C.

But then we have these proclamations from the Pennsylvania Medical Society saying you should follow the "Santa Snack Plan" by leaving carrots and celery sticks out for Santa instead of Christmas cookies.

I simply do not understand how anyone thinks this is a healthy message to send to children. "No no, kids, cookies are a sometimes food. Except that if you EVER eat them, even on Christmas, you'll get fat and no one will love you and you'll DIE." Apparently, "sometimes" here is a euphemism for "never."

What exactly do we WANT to teach our kids? We seem to want to teach them that veggies can be delicious and make you feel good, except then we feel like we have to hide them from children or trick our kids into eating them. ("Ha! See, you didn't even know you were eating veggies! Isn't deception delicious?") We want our kids to know how to consume sugar and fat responsibly, except when an opportunity is presented for that to happen (a holiday, a party, an occasional celebration) we slam the cookie jar shut and scream "NEVERRRRRR!"

When I was growing up, my parents made it very clear that soda and candy and cookies were treats, not meals. Soda was something you could have at a friend's birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese, not with your lunch at school. Candy was cool on Halloween, but not every single day. Cookies were for after-dinner dessert, not for a late-night snack. But while we had these rules, we weren't barred from eating sweets entirely. My mom made dozens and dozens of Christmas cookies. She bought five different kinds of soda for our annual Christmas party. Sugar was something to be consumed sparingly, but that didn't mean it wasn't ever to be consumed. Forbidding sugar was impossible; my parents knew that they couldn't control their kids completely, couldn't always be there to make decisions for them, and so they tried to show us how to make choices ourselves. And indeed, when I went off to college, my parents COULDN'T make my food choices for me, and I ended up eating mostly pizza for my entire freshman year. But then, when I started to notice that I felt sick a lot and I had no energy and all I wanted to do was sleep, I was able to make the connection between my ill health and my eating habits, and I started balancing my diet out. And I never would have been able to make those connections if my parents hadn't taught me how.

Honestly, sending mixed signals here is just going to confuse kids, and that confusion isn't going to help make them discerning adults. A kid who learns that cookies are both a "sometimes food" and a disgusting menace is going to end up eating cookies sometimes but feeling horrible about it when they do.

And as we all know, shaming people and making them hate themselves REALLY helps people lose weight and become healthier. REALLY.

[Side note: in regards to the above article on fatness and Santa, I am highly skeptical about the accuracy of their "1.4 pounds per year" data. Yes, people— clearly, this is why I only weigh 33.6 pounds. They probably mean "the average adult over thirty" or something like that, but what they said was "the average person," which would even seem to encompass childhood, a time when ONLY gaining that much weight is dangerous, indeed.]

You Guys Rock!

Wow! A few days ago I asked for donations to help me walk to fight hunger, and...what a response! Everyone has been so generous-- and most of my donations so far have come from PNN readers!

I really appreciate that so many people were so willing to help fight hunger. I know this recession is hard on everyone, and that most people don't have the ability to be as generous as they'd like these days. It means a lot to me that so many of you chose to support this cause.

My group (composed only of myself, my husband, and my husband's classmate, who is an AWESOME fundraiser) has already raised over $1000 for the walk! So we're setting a higher goal this time. If you'd still like to help out, you can visit my Participant Page to donate anytime before this Sunday. After the walk is over, I'll see if I can't post some pictures up here!

Thanks so much for all your help!

Love,

Philosophy

Help Me Fight Hunger!

Dear friends, family members, and PNN buddies:

I've never solicited money with this blog, but today, that's going to change.

Next Sunday, Adam and I will be walking in the CROP walk, a walk that raises money to fight hunger, both in the US and worldwide. We'll be walking all around the outside of Central Park, which, in case you've never walked that route before, is a nice little hike.

The point of this walk, though, is to raise both awareness and funds to fight hunger. To do this, I need to solicit sponsors. Sponsoring us simply means you donate some money (even $5 helps!) in support of our cause. My personal goal is to raise $200 towards feeding needy families.

If you'd like to help me out, check out my personal page and make a donation.

Thanks for your time!

Love,

Philosophy

A New Blog

As many of you have noticed, blogging on A New Philosophy has ground to a halt. It will still occur sporadically in the future, but it has become somewhat difficult with my schedule. When I come home from work, I'm usually too tired to write anything pithy and intelligent.

However, if you simply must have your regular dose of Philosophy goodness (minus the pithiness and intelligence), check out my new blog, Dear Writer: You Suck. It is self-indulgent, not particularly funny, and contains two entries, both of which were written this morning. Does this officially make me a fourteen-year-old girl yet?

Contest: Gimme Some Recipe Ideas!

Let's have a contest, shall we?

Background:

This month, Adam and I have had the opportunity to try out Angel Food Ministries, courtesy of my awesome mother. Angel Food provides low-cost groceries to ANYONE, regardless of income-- all you have to do is sign up for a particular box-- for example, a Produce Box, a Seafood Box, a Kids' Box, etc.-- and you get a crapload of food for super cheap. It's not organic and some of it is processed, but we can't afford to buy everything organic anyways, and I mean, more veggies and fruits in my diet will be a good thing no matter what, right?

ANYWAYS, in our box, the Produce Box (which contains all sorts of fresh and delicious fruits and veggies), we got a CRAPLOAD of apples. Like, seriously, probably almost twenty apples. Jeez. And I can't eat all these apples by myself before some of them start to go bad, so I've decided to make something delicious out of them.

The problem:

Adam hates apple pie. I know, I know, I married him anyways. :P I hate salads with fruit in them. What in the heck can I make with these apples?

If you can give me a totally cool idea for what to make with all these apples, and if I pick your idea, you will win a fabulous pack of Marshmallow Peeps, purchased fresh from the drug store. Yes, that's right-- a prize worth a staggering 88 cents! (The winner will have to notify me as to their color preference and shipping address. Alternatively, persons who hate Marshmallow Peeps can choose an Easter candy prize of equivalent value. Hey, I'm earning minimum wage here, people. Work with me.)

Just think about it. If you win the contest, you could do this!

Lenten Update

So...the no-sugar thing? Did not go well.

At first it was fine, but by the 19th I was getting headaches again. By the 21st, I was having headaches so bad we almost left church in the middle of the service. The next day, I had a headache so severe that I couldn't see for a few moments. Once I gave up and began eating some sugar again, the headaches subsided and then disappeared in a matter of days.

The experiences I've had, both this year and last year, lead me to believe that I DO actually need sugar in my diet. Not a lot, mind you, but a little, especially if, as some have mentioned, it's natural sugar.

So I decided to check out the Episcopal Church's website for some ideas as to what my new Lenten discipline would be, and look at this: It's a Carbonfast! The Church uses this program to encourage people to shrink their carbon footprints; on each day of Lent you challenge yourself to do something to help decrease your impact on the planet. It's pretty awesome, so I'm going to go with this.

And I got Adam to admit that he'd like to try going almost-veggie next Lent! We can't go all the way, I don't think (unless I magically stop being anemic) but it would be cool to only eat meat one day a week or something like that.

Anyways! I'm happy with this. Lent is a little less depressing now that I don't feel like I'm going to die.

Lenten Advice

Back to the Blackboard

I'm going back to school!

...well, sort of.

Since I obviously can't go back full-time yet (someone needs to earn that dough), and since it costs a heckuva lot of money to enroll as a part-time student, I'm going to take advantage of the seminary's policy allowing spouses of full-time students to audit one course each semester without cost. Normally it would cost more than $500 to audit a course, but I get it for FREEEEEE!

I'm auditing Introduction to New Testament, and here's the best part: Adam is also taking that class (although he's taking it because, y'know, it's part of his degree and all)! We can sit next to one another and pass notes! We can talk about the readings together! We can study together! (I'm not technically able to have my work graded, since I'm not paying for the privilege of having a learned person critique my efforts, but I can still write the essays on my own, and Adam says that if I ask really nicely, Father Koenig might even let me take the exams and stuff.)

I'm so so so excited to be going to class again!

And yes, I'm aware that this is pathetic.

Challenge: Name My Uterine Accessory!

So I'm reading this IUD Livejournal group page, and apparently a lot of women name their IUDs. No, I'm serious. They give them names, since they're going to be spending a lot of time with those devices over the course of the baby-free part of their lives. And unlike many of the women there, I have a Paragard, which means that instead of just five years with this sucker, I've got TWELVE. That's only four years shorter than the time I've known my youngest sister.

So: I need a name for it, I guess.

Suggestions?

I'm leaning towards "Lily", for some reason, but then part of me thinks it ought to have a non-girly name. A man's name. Like... "Earl."

Philosophy: By The Numbers

Best Thing Ever!

Adam and I have saved up, and I got some Amazon.com gift certificates from work, and so we're finally ready. It's finally time.

We're getting a Wii!!!!!

So: what games should I get? I don't know about many of them, other than Wii Fit, of course, and we're obviously going to get that one.

Auld Lang Syne

Tonight is New Year's Eve, so a lot of people are thinking back across the past year and taking stock of everything that happened. While it's not the end of the decade, though, it's even cooler to think back, as my friend Maya just did on Livejournal, about what has gone down in the past ten years, and how much we've all grown and changed since then.

Ten years ago, I was fourteen years old, and it was my first year in high school. I had braces, I was the first chair flute in the marching band, and I wanted to be a circuit court judge when I grew up.

Since then, I've:

-left public school for a full scholarship to a private boarding school;

-met people from all around the world;

-took the IB exams;

-graduated from said boarding school;

-been accepted to six colleges;

-attended Vassar College in Poughkeepsie, NY;

-had numerous boyfriends;

-gotten drunk;

-fallen in love;

-fallen abruptly out of love;

-gone to Canada, France, Britain, and Ireland;

-learned to speak French passably;

-triple majored until illness forced me to choose just one;

-gone crazy;

-met the man of my dreams (who was in my hometown all along!);

-got married;

-moved to New York City;

-adopted two kitties;

-become a professional writer;

-moonlighted as a secretary;

-learned to drive (mostly);

-learned to cook (somewhat);

-learned to keep my mouth shut (well...);

-taken the GRE;

-applied to graduate schools;

-gotten offers from graduate schools;

-turned down graduate schools;

-decided to become a professor;

-painted a bathroom bright pink;

-gone through a five-minute period wherein I believed my husband to be dead and myself to be widowed at 23 (the worst five minutes of my life--after Adam flipped our truck on the freeway and was rushed to the hospital);

-had sex;

-begun to believe in God;

-become active in the Episcopal Church;

-considered becoming a priest.

Looking at this list, what surprises me the most is how much I've done that I always swore I didn't want to do. At fourteen, I didn't ever want to marry anyone, and I didn't want any kids, and I certainly didn't want to become a professor. I hated religion, too, and I resented my mother's faith. And now, look at me! I'm a priest's wife, I'm considering a PhD in religion or theology, I'm relenting on the baby front, and I'm a devout Episcopalian! Crazy!

Here's what I hope for the next ten years:

-Adam finishes seminary and passes his GOEs with flying colors;

-Adam gets a great job;

-I go back to school and get my MA/PhD;

-I get a great job;

-We have a baby after all our schooling is done (though certainly not before);

-We get to move to one of the places we've always talked about (c'mon, Vermont!);

-We get a dog (Adam really wants one...);

-I publish a book (either a novel or an awesome treatise on the Evangelical movement in America).

Here's hoping for an awesome year-- and an awesome ten years, too!

Welcome, 2010!

Ah, the start of a new year! It's kinda weird to write the date without a zero in the front, but it's also pretty cool that we've made it ten years into this millenium! Doesn't it seem like only yesterday that we were all freaked out by Y2K?

Anyways, I shouldn't really be making New Year's resolutions-- they're too difficult to keep. So I'm just making a list of the things I'd LIKE to do in 2010 (no pressure, natch):

-Edit my NaNo novel and add a bajillion things to it;

-Ask my sister to do some cover art for my NaNo novel (better wait until her school year is up, or else she probably won't have time);

-Eat less sugar (I love sugar a little too much-- don't want to end up with diabetes, now do I?);

-Express my appreciation to my husband more often for everything he does (cleaning, cooking, decorating, being my love slave, etc.)

-Use fewer parentheses (have you noticed that, like, every sentence I write contains some sort of aside?);

-Come up with a more concrete grad school plan, via contacting profs at different schools, reconnecting with Vassar profs, deciding what I'd like my academic focus to be, doing more school research, deciding what M.A. night classes to take at the seminary next year, etc.;

-Volunteer at the shelter more often.