The Job Search Is Reborn!

Adam and I need money. He has a credit card bill to pay off, we have rent/electric/groceries to pay for, we owe YSU (my fiancé’s university) $2,000 for the privilege of being treated like dirt, and Adam wants to buy a $400 Ralph Lauren suit for the wedding. We need cash, and my attempt to win the Mega Millions $56 million jackpot this Tuesday came to naught in the end.

So: I need a job.

Obviously, I cannot go back to Chapters. I think I will commit some sort of ritual suicide if I step foot in there again. I also cannot get a reporting job— not without a driver's license, which I still cannot obtain as I have no vehicle with which to take the test. I'm also still scared out of my mind every single time I drive, but that's a whole different issue.

Thus, the job must be somewhere within walking distance, or else must be something that can be conducted in one spot, without driving becoming an issue. Thus, I have... a plan!

THE PLAN:

1. Apply to a job at YSU. Yes, I know, YSU has been evil to me and mine, but that’s the fault of the religious studies department and the payroll people, not the other folks who work there. Thus, I am applying for a job as an Intervention Specialist for Youngstown Early College, which is the branch of YSU that helps smart, poor kids in high schools around here earn early college credits. The job seems to require only a BA, and pays $32,000/year, which would basically double our household income. Plus, my dad works there and Adam goes to school there, so I won’t have to drive.

2. If I do not get this job, I will try: the chocolate factory down the street. They must be hiring for something, and working with chocolate cannot be all that challenging or physically strenuous. Right?

3. If I do not get this job, I will try: all the small stores along YoPo Road. Someone must need help with something, right? The liquor store, the sketchy drum store (which I suspect may in fact sell…well, not drums), the antique store, etc.

4. If I do not get this job, I will try: sucking it up and applying for my substitute’s license. Being a substitute is NOT the same thing as being an actual teacher, and will only require me to be locked in small, windowless rooms with small children for a maximum of two days per week. Therefore, I should be able to resist the urge to stab myself in the eye for at least a full calendar year.

5. If I do not get this job, I will try: killing myself for the insurance money. I’m pretty sure I can make it look like an accident if I walk into traffic on Rt. 224. Then Adam won't have to make cans anymore!

Good plan, no? Helpful suggestions are, of course, welcome.