A New Philosophy

Ohmygosh!!

Anewphilosophy — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 21:38:03 GMT

Guess what?

I passed my driving test!

Yep, you're now looking at a real, honest-to-goodness licensed driver. I can barely believe it.

And geez, it's taken me long enough. I got my first permit about four years ago, and I had to obtain a total of three permits to even get to the point where could take the test. Of course, a part of it was that I was constantly out-of-town ever since I turned 17, first at boarding school (where there were no cars allowed), and then at Vassar, where everything you could possibly need is located on campus, anyways.

But it was more than being away that kept me from driving. When I was 16, a friend of mine died in a car accident. That kept me from wanted to drive, and then, as I met more and more people whose lives had been affected terribly by car accidents (like Margarita, whose father had died in an accident when she was nine, and Tani, who lost her daughter in a crash), it became harder and harder to make myself take that up responsibility. Why bother to learn to drive, I asked, when driving could potentially kill someone?

And I guess I never bothered to learn to drive when I was a teen because I didn't have that same urge to get away from my house that many other teens had. Unlike a lot of my friends, I had no desire to escape my parents— they were lenient, understanding, and helpful people who never enforced any stupid rules or embarrassed me in public. I loved my parents, but I also liked my parents, and that meant that I loved spending time with them when I was a kid. Why would I have wanted to go driving with children my own age when I could stay home and talk to GROWN-UPS?

I had friends, and I liked them, but they could all drive, anyways, so why bother to learn to drive in order to hang out with them? They always wanted to drive other people around in order to show off their mad skillz, and I was never particularly enthused about obtaining any such skillz myself, so why not let them drive?

So in short, I wasn't into driving for a long time. I never planned to learn to drive; Adam and I are planning to move to New York City anyways, and once I'm there, I could take the subway.

And then Adam lost his job. I had to learn to drive in order to obtain employment— writing makes us enough money, but it DOESN'T give us health insurance, and that's what we really really really need right now.

So Adam's grandma taught me to drive in her SUV, and then I took my first test last Wednesday. In Ohio, there are two different tests you have to take: one is the Road Skills Test, which involves actually driving on the roads and making turns, stopping at red lights/stop signs, obeying speed limits, etc.; the other one is the Maneuverability Test, which involves pulling up through a series of cones, making a turn around a last cone, and then doing the whole thing backwards.

I passed the actual road test but failed the maneuverability test, mostly because I didn't know I wasn't allowed to stop at all during the test, but also kind of because I just suck at driving an SUV around. So I had to wait 7 days to take that test again.

And I took it again today, only this time I took it in my mother-in-law's adorably tiny orange car (Claire, you would love it!) and the whole thing was a breeze. In fact, I got a PERFECT SCORE!

Doing something you never imagined that you could do is an amazing feeling. When I drive down the street in my truck, I feel free, but not in that teenage "I can go anywhere and do anything!" kind of way. It's the kind of freedom that comes from knowing that you overcame all of your fears and your insecurities, that you looked your worst nightmare in the face and said, "Meh."

And that makes me feel like maybe I could fly.

Well, maybe not— I thought I could fly at age five, and was disproved when I split my head open jumping off a boulder. But hey, it's a nice phrase to use, anyway.

Yummy Gingerbread Men!

Anewphilosophy — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 21:38:58 GMT

I was pretty sick today, having come down with a bad cold yesterday, so Adam and I stayed in and made gingerbread cookies!

We used this recipe for the cookies, and then we just bought a thing of white cake frosting, tinted it with food coloring, and used plastic baggies to pipe the frosting onto the cookies.

They're SO GOOD— I'd definitely recommend the above recipe, because the dough is so easy to work with and the cookies taste so delicious!

Decking The Halls

Anewphilosophy — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 01:30:56 GMT

Check out these pictures of our festive day here in Ohio! (From top to bottom: Adam cuts down our Christmas tree; our Holiday Cheer area in our apartment; Adam poses with the tree; the tree, as seen in the dark.)

Twenty-three going on fifty

Anewphilosophy — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 02:33:48 GMT

Guess what?

I'm taking my driving test next week. WHOA.

I feel about fifteen years old right now, what with taking my test for the first time, and somehow the woman at the driver exam station made me feel fifty today. I called to schedule the test, and after asking what my name was, she inquired, "And how old are you?"

"Twenty-three," I replied.

There was a very pregnant pause.

""Um...okay," she said hesitantly. "And what's your social security number?"

I told her the first few digits, and she interrupted me with an exclamation of confusion. After I repeated myself, she laughed and said, "Wow, I never have one of those. Most of the kids who come in here are the same age, so they all have the same first three digits of their social, and I'm used to typing those numbers in."

So apparently, I am an old woman.

Makin' Stuff

Anewphilosophy — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 04:37:41 GMT

To keep costs down, Adam and I are making things for Christmas gifts this year! Well, we're buying some of the gifts, but my mom and dad said they don't want/need any more bric-a-brac this year, so we're making them some stuff.

For my mom: homemade granola. She loves to eat granola in vanilla yogurt. For my dad: homemade almond roca!

Anyone else making stuff this year?

Off To The Salt Mines

Anewphilosophy — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 22:17:53 GMT

I had my first day of temp work today!

I'm subbing for a receptionist named June at Cogun, a company that builds— seriously— churches. My job is pretty easy stuff, it seems: answering the phone, stamping envelopes, sending boxes via UPS, that sort of thing. I'm working tomorrow again from 8-5, which should be exciting.

June was...nice. Very nice. But it was a little weird when we opened our conversation with this little exchange:

June: So did you just graduate from college?

Me: Yeah, from Vassar College in New York.

June: Ah! And what did you major in?

Me: English. I want to be a journalist.

June: Oh. (rather sinister) You'll be fair and balanced when you're a journalist, won't you?

Me: Um, yeah.

June: (beaming) Good! Because some of those news outlets just aren't fair and balanced.

Me: Well, I always say that the important thing is to get your news from more than one source. Like, so many people only read one newspaper or watch one news channel. And you can't do that, because you have to get lots of input.

June: Oh, yes.

(long pause)

June: Well, I mean, actually, most of us here get our news from just one source. But it's a fair and balanced source.

(long pause)

June: It's Fox News.

Yes, this really happened. This is the exact conversation we had, word for word, as well as I can remember it. And then she told her co-workers that I'd gone to "Vassar University" and called me Renee twice.

But she was nice and very friendly, and I had a good time, and everyone seems really cool (with the exception of the fact that they apparently live and breathe propaganda?) and I think I'll enjoy working there for these next few days.

Yay for not starving to death!

An awesome way to waste time!

Anewphilosophy — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 03:47:33 GMT

My friend Leora is visiting me! She was the finance director of the Gary Peters for Congress campaign, and since the election is all over (and they WON!) she's come to see me before regrouping to figure out what campaign to work on next.

And today we were talking about my career and the layoff and our money troubles and stuff, and she showed me the COOLEST SITE EVER: Amazon Mechanical Turk.

WOW. This is the coolest way to waste time I've ever seen. You get paid small amounts of money for doing silly, brief little tasks, like answering a survey or voting in a contest or writing a comment on someone's blog. And if you're looking for a way to waste time anyways (or just for something to do while your husband is making you watch football on TV...ahem), and that money can add up.

It's sooooooooooo nifty! Check it out!

Worse News

Anewphilosophy — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 01:22:34 GMT

Adam was laid off today.

Here's the best part: know what Exal gave us as a parting gift? A $25 gift certificate to Giant Eagle. THANKS, GUYS.

I am hereby officially refusing to buy aluminum cans. If they had laid him off in a genteel fashion, with plenty of notice, I wouldn't be as angry. But they PUT OUT NEWS REPORTS claiming that they were doing well and that they were not going to lay anyone off, although they said they were being "cautious". THEY TOLD US THEY WERE FINE. They apparently felt that having a good image in the community was more important than being honest with their workers. And now they've lied, without giving us any time to change course or make other arrangements.

Dear Exal Corp.: I swear, with God as my witness, that if the opportunity to screw you over presents itself anytime in the future, I will most gladly do so. If I am ever in a position of power wherein I can deny you a loan, or make you look bad, or severely curtail your business, I will do so with infinite pleasure. You have PISSED ME OFF, and that is NEVER A GOOD IDEA, because I am smart and well educated and AWESOME.

With God as my witness, I'll never help Exal again.

Another Publication For Me!

Anewphilosophy — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 02:39:19 GMT

Somehow, it has to come to pass that I am going to become a contributing writer for Black Bride and Groom. No, seriously. I got the email this afternoon, asking if they could republish some articles I did for Suite 101 in their Feb. 2009 issue.

How did this happen? I dunno, but I like it.

Free Stuff!

Anewphilosophy — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 06:20:54 GMT

Have you joined Freecycle yet?

The Freecycle Network is a group of people who give away things they don't want anymore for free, and also take other people's used stuff. I've been a member of Youngstown Freecycle for a long time, and it's easy to use— you sign up for the listserv and you get emails directly to your inbox from people who have stuff they're offering up. You can get clothes, toys, food, games, electronics, and even big stuff like beds, mattresses, windows, pianos, and couches.

So far Adam and I have gotten a free bleacher cushion— y'know, one of those things you bring to a football game to sit on. We go to a lot of those in a year, and all we had to do was drive a few blocks over to get it!

We'll probably need to be using this on a more regular basis, if Adam gets laid off...

Bad News

Anewphilosophy — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 05:59:24 GMT

So, uh, Adam might be getting laid off.

I AM SO PISSED. A week ago, Exal Corp. was bragging on the local news that while GM was considering laying off workers, Exal was actually expanding by building a new section on land that the city of Youngstown gave them as a grant.

And then today, Adam goes in for a big all-company meeting, and they say, "Hey, we're maybe gonna lay off fifty guys. Or maybe twenty. Or maybe none. It all depends on how many orders we get in the next few days."

And then here's the best part— they won't tell us until Monday. And then on Monday, they'll just start telling certain people to go home. No warning, no advance notice. Nothing. Fuckers.

And even if they don't lay him off, they might move him to the packing department and start paying him less, because they are so totally gonna fire the packers first, and then they'll make him do that stuff.

MOTHER FUCKERS.

I am beyond enraged. If this company had been honest with me from the get-go, I'd be sympathetic, but they TOLD US THEY WERE DOING FINE. They said EVERYTHING WAS FINE. And now suddenly it's not.

It's not even the money I'm worried about— I make enough that between my tiny income and Adam's unemployment, we'd be able to make it. It wouldn't be easy or fun, since we're poor as it is, but we wouldn't starve. It's the insurance that has me upset. We both need major dental surgery; Adam's is already scheduled for the 2nd, and mine should be coming along shortly. We need our insurance, yo.

We have a thousand in savings, but we need that. We need it for the move to NYC or DC next fall. We need it to pay for Adam's GRE...oh gosh, how are we going to pay the application fees? How are we going to pay for him to get to his interviews?

This I solemnly swear: as soon as Adam is no longer employed by Exal, I will never buy another slug-based aluminum can again. Those fuckers can rot in their stupid factory, for all I care.

I AM SO ANGRY AT EVERYONE. All these stupid bitches trying to take out mortgages they can't afford and fucking up the credit markets, and somehow the interconnectedness of all things ensures that it screws me over— me, Philosophy Walker, who has never bought groceries without coupons, who turns off the heater when Adam is gone so that we'll save money, who walked three miles in the snow yesterday to save gas. I have scrimped and saved and been cautious and careful and ACTED LIKE AN ADULT. And it makes me angry that there are people looking for sympathy because they wanted expensive shit, because they felt they were entitled to a certain amount, because they wanted MORE.

I don't want more. I just want enough. Is that so much to ask?

Let the Festivities Begin!

Anewphilosophy — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 17:53:48 GMT

It's snowing!

Holiday fever is sweeping Northeastern Ohio, that's for sure. Maybe it's the snow that fell yesterday, or maybe it's the anticipation of how much more challenging it'll be to pull it all off this year. Maybe it's even the fact that the holidays will have to be simpler this year, less frenzied and consumerist, since we all have less financial wiggle room now than we did last year. I don't know what the cause is, but I've heard several people comment that they're more excited about the holidays now than they've ever been since they were children.

I know I'm excited, because...I made Buckeyes!

Buckeyes are a delicious peanut butter and chocolate candy that resemble (and are named after) the symbol of the state of Ohio— the Buckeye nut! They're a Christmas tradition here, and so easy to make:

Mix 1 1/2 cups of peanut butter (you're supposed to use creamy PB, but I use crunchy because I like big chunks of peanut in my candy!), 1 stick of softened butter, 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract, and 4 cups of powdered sugar (sift it first!) together, then roll that dough into little balls and put the balls on a plate covered with wax paper in the fridge. Melt a pack of chocolate chips in the microwave until the chocolate is smooth and liquid, then get out the balls, dip them in the melted chocolate, and put them back in the fridge to harden up. And voilà! You've made buckeyes.

I've made out my list of presents, and for the first time ever, I already have gift ideas for everyone on my list! In fact, I have too many gift ideas for some people...I don't know how I'll decide. :P

I love buying gifts, and I love getting them. Ooooooh, holidays are fun!

With A Little Help From The Internet

Anewphilosophy — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 03:34:16 GMT

I'm gonna go all youth-culture on y'all and just say: this economy, like, totally bites.

Things haven't been easy for us— Adam still makes peanuts at the factory, and now we're going to have to pay for 1) his tuition, 2) Christmas gifts, and 3) his application stuff (app fees, the $140 GRE fee, etc). And I still can't seem to get a nine-to-fiver. It could be worse: Adam had heard his factory was closing a line and was slowing production, but apparently (according to the local news) they're planning to build a new plant instead, so we're thinking he probably won't be laid off quite yet. Still, things aren't a barrel of laughs over here in Depressionville, Ohio, where the local GM plant just cut 1,200 jobs.

So I thought I might share a couple of my money-saving/earning tips and tricks:

1. You can get lots of free stuff on the internet just for being an interested consumer. Check out Smart Sampling to get free sample-size products delivered to your door; they also have some really great coupons there! If you've got a little bit more time to expend, you could always get rewards from online survey sites like Harris Poll, Valued Opinions, or Epoll. They'll give you gift certificates or free stuff just for filling out surveys about your shopping habits, political views, or personal preferences. For example, I've got a coupon for a free pint of Haagen-Daz ice cream coming from Epoll, and soon I'll have a gift certificate for Amazon.com from Harris Poll!

2. Comparison shopping is usually the best way to find a sweet deal. I usually use Google Shopping to compare big-ticket items, like the X-Box I'm going to get my husband for Christmas. And Gas Buddy can help you find the best price on gas in your area!

3. Of course, making some spare cash is always helpful to your economic situation, particularly during the holidays. Why not try your hand at writing?

I write for Demand Studios, where they'll pay for lots of different freelance projects: films, transcription, copyediting, and some other stuff. You don't have to be the best writer in the entire world— you just have to be able to write clearly and concisely. They really like it when people who have experience in a particular field try their hand at a couple how-to articles, and they pay $15 per article, so it's a pretty good deal.

I also write for Suite 101, a little online magazine that allows you to accumulate royalties from the stuff you put out there. You only have to write ten articles every three months, so it's totally easy to maintain even on a busy schedule.

What websites do you use to save or make money!

Tragedy and Maturity

Anewphilosophy — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 16:52:35 GMT

I noticed a disturbing trend today while looking at online reviews of the book I've just started, Jane Smiley's A Thousand Acres. It's a retelling of King Lear set in 1970s farm country, and I've been wanting to read it ever since Don Foster recommended it to me during our time with Lear in Shakespeare class last year.

So I'm looking through the reviews and I realize that there are a pretty large proportion of people who simply disliked the book BECAUSE IT WAS A TRAGEDY. Here's a sampling of these views:

"I thought it was on [sic] okay story at first, but then it got SO tragic that it depressed me and I was sorry I'd ever read it."

" I didn't know it was a tragedy when I started it... kinda wish I had. Smiley is a brilliant novelist. The book gripped me, but in the end, the story itself was a little bit too tragic for me."

" i didn't realize it was a tragedy until the moment it became one, and then i didn't like it anymore."

Okay, first of all: IT'S KING LEAR. If you didn't realize that this book was gonna be pretty sad, you're a moron.

Second of all— um, what's with the dislike for tragedy? Aren't some of the best stories sad ones?

I find this to be part of a weird, pseudo-delusional trend in American thought: the idea that positive thinking is the best way to bring about happiness, and the idea that happiness itself is the most important thing to possess. It occurred to me while I was watching a recent episode of America's Top Model, if I am to be completely honest.

In that episode, one of the girls is a European, and she explains that in Europe, you're generally expected to be realistic. There isn't any of this "I can do it!" or "If I believe it myself, it will happen!" bullcrap— they just rationally consider whether or not they possess the right skills and qualities to do what they want to do, and if not they move on. And when the American girls began attacking this girl as "negative", I became really annoyed, because all they did was repeat stupid, passé mantras like "If you don't believe in yourself, who will?" and "If you want it badly enough, it'll happen."

No, it won't, kids. I'm a little concerned about the shiny-happy personas we're cultivating in people today. I see all these kids here say things like "I'm going to be an NFL lineman when I graduate from high school, and everyone says I can do it if I just believe in myself!" And I think, sweetie, there's no way in hell you're going to be an NFL lineman— you're dinky and frail and you're probably not going to get much taller than 5' 4''. If you just faced reality, maybe you could find something else you enjoy. Instead, though, the "power of positive thinking" is going to keep you chasing a stupid dream until it's too late to figure out what else you love in life.

Now, I'm not saying that it's terrible to have dreams and to pursue them— obviously, it's important to cultivate a sense of drive and determination. But I object to the idea with which all American children seem to be raised these days: that you can do ANYTHING simply by wishing for it to occur. That's not true, and it's likely to leave us all frustrated and empty in the long run.

Similarly, I'm disturbed by how many people want to be happy ALL THE TIME. How can you know what happiness is unless you've known real misery? I've been bonebreakingly, heartrenderingly sad before, and that's why I'm so thankful and relieved to be happy right now. Tragedy sews the seeds of comedy, and if you're not actively engaged in one, you can't really enjoy the other, either.

After all, aren't most comedies just tragedies with different endings? Think about Twelfth Night for a second: the situation is ripe for tragedy, with cross-dressing confusion and unrequited lovers and secret passions. How easily the whole thing could have ended in misery, with Viola spurned for her men's garments and the Duke crushed under the weight of his confused emotions. But no— the story ends happily, and we breathe a sigh of relief, but only if we KNOW tragedy was lurking around the corner, only if we have become intimately familiar with the darker side of human nature.

I think an acceptance of, and even a certain level of satisfaction in, tragic storylines comes with maturity. Of course, there are plenty of people who never mature, even as they grow old. I myself know 40-year-olds and 50-year-olds who are completely shallow, who have never been refused what they wanted, who make messes of their lives because no one ever sat them down and gave them a stern talking-to, because they had never bothered to experience variety and substance before.

Tragic storylines can be just as satisfying as comic ones, but only if you're willing to experience a moment of loss, a moment of depth.

Interview!

Anewphilosophy — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 02:57:45 GMT

So today was my interview and test administration for Office Team, a division of Robert Half International. It was at 8:30 in the morning, and up until then I'd had the kind of start to my day that makes one want to crawl back into bed again. First, I put on my nice pinstriped pants and actually BROKE THEM. The clasp came completely off and I couldn't fasten them closed. Wow, that's a real great self-esteem booster, eh? It makes me feel so good about my body when my butt actually causes my pants to KERSPLODE. Then I accidentally dropped my flash drive in my coffee, thereby ruining it forever. And finally, I couldn't find my black flats, so I had to wear my open-toed heels, and my feet froze.

By the time I got to the office I was understandably kind of miffed...so of course what I really wanted to deal with were stupid forms and stupid questions. Why does every single employment form ask you to list your previous occupations, job titles, and bosses' names and phone numbers when the prospective employer is ALSO asking for your resume, which already contains all of that information?! And then there were the annoying tax forms, which kind of caught me off guard, as this year will be my first time filing jointly and Adam and I hadn't yet talked about how this was going to work.

But then, after the stupid forms, there were tests, and those made me feel better, because...well, I'm not exactly an experienced secretary, but I'm smart, so the tests were easy to figure out. There were six of them: a "general office skills" test, an Excel test, a Word test, two data entry tests (one numeric and another alphanumeric), and a typing test.

General skills was the best test EVERRRRRRR. It was so simple: "If you need to purchase five reams of paper at $4.25 each, and two staplers at $2.75 each, and you have eighty dollars from petty cash, how much money will you need to return to petty cash after the purchase?" And then there were the awesome behavioral questions. "What is the best way to deal with an angry customer who is shouting at you?" Hrm...could it be "B.) Listen politely without interrupting"?

The Excel and Word ones threw me for a loop at first, because I had to use them on a PC and I've hardly ever touched anything other than a Mac since I was nine years old. But after awhile I got the hang of it. Data entry was simple, although it kind of made my eyes start to cross.

The only bad part was typing. Usually I'm at 70 WPM, but the paragraph I was assigned to type was very poorly written, so I spent a lot of time wondering if I was meant to fix the poor writing as I typed or if I was supposed to leave it be, so that I slowed down considerably and only got 51 WPM. BOOOOOOOOO.

But in the end, the woman who interviewed me was very nice, and said very nice things about me and my mad skillz, yo. She told me that it's actually a good thing that I'm moving in nine months and won't be looking for permanent employment, because most of the people at the agency are looking for permanent jobs and so the more temporary jobs (the ones that last only three weeks or a couple months or even just a couple days) will go straight to ME!

So I'm waiting for them to call me, which she said would probably happen early next week. Huzzah! I can't wait to have a real job. And the Barron's stuff is going well, and everything else is going well, and I'm so much more optimistic about my career than I was a few months ago.